I mean, it's one thing if you don't have child care, or can't afford to pay for it - I understand that. But I just want you to know that your kids will benefit from parents who are in touch with each other.
Vikki and Erica, some moms have talked about going back to work after maternity leave. Could we switch gears here? Maybe you have some advice for the transition.
I think you need to expect that it will be a bit of a shock for the first month.
FYI- "sleeping in" is most considered sleeping until 8 a.m. so far. WOW.
Vikki, was it difficult for you?
I worried about it. But I knew that it was necessary and I'm a practical person, so I just went with it and knew that my kids would be okay.
I remember when I went back to work after 9 months with my second son. It was huge adjustment. I cried, i panicked, but, it was also a bit of a relief to have some adult conversation and use my brain.
Cried every morning? That must be hard to get through!
You need to have a long view. What's extraordinary becomes ordinary. It's hard at first but you need to remember that you and your child will adjust
What about the difficulty on the part of the parent to "let go"? How many mothers struggle with that?
It helps if you feel good about the child care. Look - this is a super great time in your life - when you have little children! Make it a happy time and your kids will do fine. Don't dramatize it and focus on the problems.
I think that husband's of working moms have to learn to pinch hit a little more as well. We aren't superwoman, so when we DO return to work after mat leave, those expectations need to be discussed. The partner needs to be reminded that he is now not the only one working, and a partnership is how we care for
I think in one of Anne's stories on working moms, she talked about work starting to feel like an 8-hour break!
So, it's a big adjustment on the husband/partner too, is it, Erica?
Yes, I remember that. At least at work, you can go to the bathroom without someone pulling on your leg!
Jamie you made a great point. Some women really do love their jobs and are stimulated by it, and engaged. For me, I could not be stay-at-home mom all day. It becomes about how well we manage the juggle.
Jamie, it's your first week back with Global. How has the adjustment been for you?
ABSOLUTELY! It was just as big a shock for him as it was for me when i returned to work.
Erica, I guess women need to have some pretty understanding partners?
But I think you need to remember that it's good for the kids too, often. They learn that they can survive without you and that they can be part of a group, if they are at day care, and make friends. It's a growing time for them, too!
You're right Julie- the double standard is very much alive and well, so it's up to us to present our case, and make them realize we can't do it alone. Our hunny's don't read minds. :)